Nothing to say. Lots to express.

Today he met her again

to her he may still look sane

but inside he was never

he just smiled and look at the rain

Then he just smiled and smiled

looked at how she had cuddled sweetly

his heart when pounding very loudly

his feelings went confused and bundled

That he I had describe was me

For whatever I had too he felt and see

To be with her is all I had wanted

I hope it will not just end here already

For you have owned my heart

ever since the crazed chase start

hoping I'll cherish the time with you more

although time went like a flying dart

The world had existed because of you

all of the thick and thin I had been through

and through all the hardships faced I conquered

I kept on with the desire to be with you

For all I hope it wont end here

even if i had to face public snears

let me just continue having you

and before I have to chance to call you 'dear'

allow our paths to be crossed again

Poet : Christopher Soon (11/12/2011) 23:16pm, Penang

What is wrong with HER?

I do not hate her but I really dislike her and that is really embarrassing. I am ashamed not only of her but how I felt about her.

She is a victim, always played the victim and she is really good at it.

She's an emotional vampire.

She takes advantage of people and then has the audacity to complain it's not enough.

You never know what to expect from her.

One day she's so sweet you gag on the sugar she's exuding.

The next day you're choking on the bitterness she radiates.

She might not make contact with me for a few weeks.

She might call me everyday, several times per day.

She never really has anything of substance to share.

She's not a very brilliant woman.

She's passive-aggressive and it's frustrating beyond belief.

She's the queen of emotional terrorism.

She loves to twist your words and turn them against you.

She loves to call your sibling and 'report' you for your offenses against her.

She is well beyond irresponsible.

She annoys me beyond words. she nauseates me.

She's my mother ...

Visa

These days kept running round doing visa. So much stuffs to do!! Hiahh. Yesterday, went to Lee Choo hock's seminar. Met a few friends there too. I'm so sleepy now. Sitting in car again. I'm not allowed to sleep more than 8hours now. Sad. Mom kept saying 8 hours is already more than enough ( FYI she slept less than 7 hours everyday) ugh is she even human? -- I want to sleep. Spm left less than 13 days. Omg

Bitterness

Well. You know what? My mom found out about the phone yesterday night. I don't know how she found out, but it just happened. I was stunned, sad, confused and angry at that moment. I knew i should have get rid of it as soon as possible, but I did not, instead I just leave it in my cupboard.

Well, now I am gonna get as low as possible, to hide my existence from the world, to let the others think of my presence in the world is not absolute, but optional. It is because, this way provides the best condition for me to studies without any distractions.

Without me knowing, my dad did something without my permission. He accepted the Abbey College Cambridge's offer yesterday morning. I was happy yet upset at the same time. Happy because my dad trusted me. Upset because he trusted me too much. I'd perfer going for foundation.

And one more thing,

MY MOM KEEPS ON CHECKING ON ME ON EVERY SINGLE THING.
thats the suckiest thing that I had ever faced.

Well, the old saying - what comes, we take.
Well, face it then. I know I can.

Depression

I think im sufering from depression since last week till now.. i cant eat cant sleep cant think right cant do anything properly.. Hiahhhhhhhhhhhh Life suck. i hate this man. i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you!! Yeah you! YOU! whatever. i dont wanna know dont wanna care. i hate you. You broke my heart, and now you smash it into pieces. when are you gonna burn it to ashes huh? THIS PAIN IS UNBEARABLE. =( I cant cry. i wanna cry out but.. i couldn't.. ever since i when through that stupid pain bearer quest. I couldnt cry anymore. i just cant..... cant.. =(( D; ='(

Tobasco

Lately, I discovered tobasco is a really spicoius sauce. It tastes so good that I even tried drinking it. In fact, I drank it almost everyday since idk when. It's so delicousssss but.. There's a let down, it had side effects. Wait, it's suppose to be it's EFFECT.. Which is .. Spicyyyy! Ahhhhhhhhh! The best part ( or you could say the worst) is that it does not only burn in your mouth or throat, but your nostrils and eyes too! Causing me to cryyyyy. LOL anyway... Today is the day before the last day of trails and FYI, it's my friends birthdayyy!!! Mr. Lye Chuen Shennnn's!!! Happy birthday yeahhhhhh!! XD

stress

Aghhhh exam. I hate exam!!!! Arghhh the worst thing is that I can't study at all when im under a huge pressure. Hiahhhhhhh.. Stilll sick. Damn the haze. Adding coughing to my sick list --

sick --

Damn... Sick sick sick. I hate being sick D: arghhhhhh slight fever headache, stomachache and the worst is.. I unable to control my emotions any longer.. Arh.. Dang.. Wednesday I only go school dy.. Hehe..

logos hope

I think you'll know what's this about dy, if you know me :D logoshope is a ship with lots of book from all around the world =D cool right? And the entrance fee is just rm1!!! But there's this activity organised by cf which takes RM5 cause lunch will be served too and lots of other interesting events :D so.. Join! Before it's too late cause the registration will close after 120ppl register =))) that's all for now.

Friend

I made a friend. A great friend. A precious one =)

study...

I'm scared of spm. So i stopped facebooking.. Keep track of me thru my blog if you wanna know my doings =P so.. At the moment I'm having traffic jam on the way to my school. =/ imma gonna start studying like hell for this 121 days =) and yeah, you've been a great friend to me, thanks ='))

I .. sajak write one :D

One day he went and go

left with nothing to know

then he was good and pure

just hoping to find his wound cured

Then she came into his life

to him she was really nice

no one knows about this then

only those who he really call friends

He did not that know he would fell

fell so deep that he cant even tell

he felt confused and unable to do things well

but finally something came and rang a bell

He did know know of the other in her heart

until the night the other broke her heart

Although the happening provided him the chance

but with her face undone saddened him greatly

For weeks she could not get over it

even until now things weren't yet really over

the unability to do anything while the other mocks

it pains him greatly but do nothing but watch

He was already unable to hold these in no longer

all he wanted is to know more about her

but he was afraid to tell her how really felt

every night he thought, cried and knelt

Then he received a news which made him stronger

so strong that seems nothing stands in his way

he went all the way for it and did some insane stuffs

Even he himself could not believe what he had done

By that time he already reached out his feelings

he was rejected but he felt satisfied

she never once did ignore him after she rejects

but treated him well and better day by day

Lots of things had happened, he felt happy, blessed and is with peace. =D

Today is Tuesday

Yesterday my house no electric -.- so i slept with just 'fan' without my clothes on. But its kinda okay haha the 'fan' was really cool. Thank God theres no mosquitoes or what to attack me during my slumber =PP Hehe

You know what? A news really spread fast. Not only in Ping Hwa form 4, now chung ling eh pun.. walao -.- hiahhhhhh.

Just wanna tell you.. I Love You =D hehe

But if you do not mind, I hope you will stay the same =)
erm.. yeah. haha

now got nothing to say. just updating my blog =D hehe

Oh yeah! Theres this Ship thingy organised by CF I wannnaaa Gooooooooo!

And the 30th July one. I wont be performing =P hehe Damn.. im so scared of Mr. Yeap. He says my harmonising skills aint good enough.. ugh.. so sad..

IU day 2011

Sigh few days more till IU day.. I'm scared of my parents. I know they love me, but I really fear them. I don't know what to do. I dot dare to take money from them too.. Sigh.. Recently less and less quiet time is done and I feel like falling.. I'm sorry Lord I pray that through all you'll be by my side, and everything I do shine for you. Ahh! And 1 more thing. I'm afraid of ping Hwa form 4 ppl -.-

The day i thought i would suicide.

So.. This is what happened. Me and my friends are gonna perform in lots of event Including IU day, International Camp and Ex-Chung Ling student's dinner thing. Then until 2 weeks before IU day..

My Name is Christopher Dequan Soon but Soon De Quan is the name stated in my IC card. I'm a guy with lots of musical talent - to me I am with lots - I could play guitar, piano and harmonise any song you care to mention, with at least of heard for a time.

I have lots of Good friends who have same interest with me. Although they're a bit lack of musical talents but they can sing better than me, i mean A LOT better than me - I am not good in singing solos or being 1st vocalist - then we came together and formed a band. My good friend, Benjamin, who was really good in singing that caught eyes of our school's Principle, was asked to find a band to assist him to sing and perform in an event, a school's important event. Then he find us, and a few more outsiders to assist us. Then, it was fun, thinking of how we are gonna perform and stuffs, excited for that day.

Then the day before our 1st practice, my mom came to me and crushed everything. She strongly disagree to the band's thingy and stuffs cause she do not like them. She only allows me to serve in church, other than that, its all a NO a BIG BIG 'NO'. I was sad, STRESSED, pressured, confused, frustrated, downcast, DEPRESSED and all the bad feelings you care to mention.

Then I have no choice. I messaged my bandmates. I hope you will understand. and we will remain friends. For now, that is all.

Teachers Day

Hrm.. wonder how to start..

I'll do it schedule style :D

7.30am->

Gathered at class. Preparing to go choir's practice.

8.30am ->

Performed on stage with choir.

9.30pm->

After taking the food from the caters (It was raining then!) then the party begins!

10.30pm->

The real party began. Went class to class singing. although our singing aint that good haha.

Well, this is the part where it really goes crazy. There were ice bullets shooting form lots of direction, it hurts a bit but when i saw Way Yang's.. mine wasn't bad enough to be compared

11.30pm->

After singing at the form 5 block, we went to the form 3 block! We sang the 3 most popular hits

- Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars

- Baby by Justin Bieber

- Grenade by Bruno Mars

- Marry You

At that time, it was like a mini concert LOL And the form 3's was like

"WE WANT MUSIC, WE WANT MUSIC. WE WANT MUSIC ... ..."

haha and they said something like "encho" im not sure whats it.. haha

Then when we are going to the Form 6 block, XXX came.. and we had to..

FAllllllllllllllLLLL BackkkKKK!

LOL

12.30pm ->

I was not feeling well then. really NOT well. haha the cleaning and rearranging starts

1.30pm ->

Recovered :D sing songs again! Sang lots of song with classmate

(cause can't go to other classes already)

*(P.S. we weren;t allowed to sing also.. duuhhH! haha ut sang anyway)

YEah! really really really FUNNNNNN! haha

2.05pm->

School bell rang and when home.. forgot to take my lyrics book haha

CF camp 2011

CF camp 2011 is hereeeeee!!!!!! Join it! its my last year also xD hahahahahha

taken from CHung ling CF blog-->

Yah i know,its kinda blur, but the thing is, our combined CF Camp is officially on track!!
This is the Registration Form, contact Solomon Kong to get it and to get extra details.
Details :
Date : 6 to 8 June 2011
Time : Check in(2.00pm 6 June), Check out(12.00pm 8 June)
Camp Fees : RM90(Before 3 May 2011) RM100(After 3 May 2011)
Closing date : 10 May 2011
Speaker : Pastor Thomas

-->

P.S. This camp is a Christian Camp. So there are Bible studies and Praise and Worship sessions.

P.S.S the venue info is not yet provided.

P.S.S.S Come! get the form from me or other ppl in cf :D

It Pains Me Greatly.

Today, I went to 3 tuition.

Chinese, Form4 & form5 physics.

Then.

This thing happened

I was told not to reveal (an important stuff) to anyone

when i accidentally NEARLY told one of my really close friend

She was sporting though.

She said she wont mind about not teling her. thanks man =)

Seriously, it was like THE HARDEST CHOICE I HAD TO MAKE

SERIOUSLY.

It was like my soul was taken away

And my shell(body) left on earth

emptyness quickly laid in.

It was a cold and sad feeling.

tears could not take them away. really

-->

By the struck of midnight

I could not help to have lied

which felt as if my chest was tied

my a strong rope without light

Emptyness replace the soul in my body

I was then left alone without a sight glee

Thought happiness will leave me never

But now those were long lost already

I was happy, but now on the verge of breaking down

At dawn I woke up and think about you

At dusk too I lay on bed and thought of you

I tried let it aside and find something to do

But all I did was letting off my pityful tears

I was really happy of the times we were together

But when you weren't with me my heart pains forever

Ending the emptyness within me was never

Again my heart breaks with my pityful tears

All I wanted is to be a part of your life

For times like this there're no room for sighs

Even when storm thundered in the sky

Your beauty is still as though endless like time

My elder sister

Woohoooo! She's now driving man! Haha! Speaking of driving, I heard those who's now in form 4 or younger will only be able to drive at 21 years old. Hahha I have ta learn driving by this year man! Then I can fetch 'her' xD hahaha. Now gonna have dimmer at shanghai ding near qb xD weee!

3rd March 2011

-4.15am

I was woken up by itches on my hands and legs, but managed to sleep back

-6.30am

Dad thought I am going to school, wake me up then ask me to sleep again -.-

-7.30am

Realised my room's electric is gone. No fan, no air-con, no lights!

-8.00am

When to Disted with my sis. Nearly got into accident. Mi sister's skill still not good enough huh! LOL

-9.00am

Ate Breakfast at Pulau Tikus there then went back home.

-10am

Studying

-11am

Took a short break, bathe then continue study.

-1.00pm

facebook-ing rest

-3.00pm

study plus a bit of facebook and singing. lol

-6.00pm

Dinner, 6.30pm went to tuition. got stuck at the Minden heights school there.

-8.30pm

Chemistry tuition ends.

-9.30pm

Blogging

Which is now :D

END

A Tough Decision

Stood still starring through the window pane,

Thought of what is it to be gained;

But now i felt a greater pain,

A pain that words could not explain.

Water dripping from a leaked pipe,

Now it goes to a greater height;

I could not let go no matter how I tried,

All I did was a sorrowful sigh.

Be With Her Forever

On that gloomy day he was here

But now he is not where he were

At the corridor he walked, up and down

He sighed and tears gathered at the corner of his eyes

His dream to be together

To be together with her forever

But he had lost his courages self

Which once known to be the likes of tiger

He tried and tried, and tried again

His hope - to make her my bride

Holding a pen on a table he writes

Will his poetic skill give him this littlel flight?

He hope to be strong and hope for a change

Hoped to be as courages as once he had gained

But dreaming won't give him anything

Nor to change anything he'd done before

And now I had read this poem,

I set my hands to write and add more

Until I realized that we are actually them

I gave a sigh and wrote some more

Although it wasn't more than I year I'd known love

I could feel your warmth like my hands in winter gloves

I hold my breath and set off the dove of my heart

and stayed on waiting for you, my one true love

The truth was, writing poems weren't getting me anywhere

It was just an art and proves almost nothing

Nothing I said, nothing at all, nothing to you and me

But I tried and tried, and now sending this letter to you

Although I'd known for long that you were too good for me

But now the courages me can wait no longer

A big leap is all I need and now I have yet taken it

If you were to reject please don't look at me as if I'm a loser

I'm emotional?

Dear Blog,

I'm emotional? That's right, I'm emotional. It might not have crossed you mind but, I AM emotional. I cry like.. very easily, i laugh like crazy - but i think most of you see that from me, i one thing i cant control is LAUGH - I could go sad and everything when bad.

One more thing. I tend to do everything at best when I'm down, and i donno why. I could go stronger in an instant, i cant run faster than i could before, i can solve question i haven't studied before, i can create chaos bigger than any of you could imagine. Well thats me, i although sometimes it did helped me, but no everytime. I tend to go weak after all that and sleep for lie .. 10 hours? LOL

Well, I am emotional, as i had said before, well thats how i express my feelings. I write poems when im in anger, sad, happy - usually i dont when i'm happy, i just sing and didnt get the chance to write it down, haha - lonely, selfless... yeah about that, i sing and write poems and sing when i'm emotional..

one more thing.. i guesssss.... GUESS-ed that it may be my hormone changes that causes it and er.. recently, i think, i fell for a girl i thought i would not fell for.. I could not stop thinking about her and always ended up singing 'Just the way you are' Again and again, and again.

Well thats all for now.. I'm going to sleep..

Ah ONE MORE THING. If you're a girl and you think your boobs are small, DO NOT DO A BOOB JOB BECAUSE IT IS NOT GOOD, VERY DANGEROUS YET EXPENSIVE.

I saw a video about a defective boob job and the girl ended up dead. I wish my words could alert you all and not the VIDEO, but if you wanna watch the video, then too bad haha cause i wont share it here haahah

Okay really have to go bye xD

Love,

Chris

I love how she looks and who she is

When did my feelings get so deep
Why did they take that big long leap
Going from friend to crush
What a rush
And I don't think she knows

Since when did her smile make me go weak
Since when did her tears make mine start to leak
Why does this happen when I'm always so strong
When people called me Superman I guess they were wrong
And I don't think she knows

When she talks I cant help but watch her lips
To notice their shape and curves when they dip
Wait, why am I looking? I don't even know
And I cant help but wonder if she even knows

Her beautiful eyes are nothing like ours
They're so deep and bright you'd believe they were stars
They pour forth emotions in raging rivers
They could make even me believe that Santa always delivers
And still she has no idea

Her body is perfection though she denies it
It makes my head spin with every glance I give
She could put any man under her spell
But she doesn't know how I feel and I don't think I'll tell

I love how she looks and who she is
And how she makes me feel like this
I love how she's beautiful and smart with a heart so strong
And how she lives every day like nothing could go wrong
Still she hasn't got a clue

Now school is at an end on the 11th at noon
I wonder if she cares that I'm moving soon
We're parting that day after schools many months
I just wish I could have kissed her just once

Now that I've said it with my poetic skill
I don't think she knew, and now she never

Chinese New Year.

Dear Blog,

Its Now Chinese New Year..

So,

Chinese New Year, celebrate or study more?

I've got lots of tuition .. so damn buzy..

Monday - Chinese (Mrs. Liew)

Tuesday - Math (Mr.Teh PT), Malay (CHLee)

Wednesday - English (Cherie Lim)

Friday - Physics (Frankie Lee)

Saturday - Biology (Madam Yeoh)

And now im even joining the Form 4 Chapter 2 Physics class

(with Cai Ying Ng and Sean De Hui)

Its been a long time since a last saw her, my very understanding and good friend Daphne.

Last year when somthing terrible happened(rejection) she was there to help me to overcome it.. Thanks dude, its was great to have such a good friend.

Although so much has Changed, but My brothers in KCCband! are still with me, Thank God for his Overflowing blessings. Even in C class I still have good friends to help me.. Helping each other, making each of us stronger and tougher day by day.

Now I'm already ini Form 5. I realised something important. I donno how to explain in English but I'll type it in Chinese

"友情 和 亲情 比 爱情 重要"

Haha..

So for the time being, I shall not look for my future wife, and concentrate harder in my studies.

I'm sure God has already laid the way for me, its whether if I'm accepting it or not.

So friends, If you all had seen my blog (this post), just know that I appreaciate all you've done to me. Making me a better and Stronger person. The Stronger Christopher Dequan Soon!

Well just this for now, Im going to exercise with my family now, bye! (thank God for giving me such a caring family! )

Love,

Chris =D

My Fairy tale

On 15th December
The 1st day I met you,
I saw your beauty,
That is everlasting.

In that 4 days time
We talk and we laugh
Even then I was your leader
I'd always listened to you.

I thought we were fated
to be together,
but you just treated me
nothing more than a friend.

The comparison between you and me
are like a stray dog and an angel,
Even though our love is not mutual
I just hope that you'll accept my love.

One day we will be together
like Beauty and the Beast,
With your love like beauty
The Beast in me be healed.

I hope everything will turn out
like fairy tale,
When Prince Charming and Cinderella
lived happily ever after.

A New Year, A New Resolution, A New Me.

Dear Blog,

This year, im in 5SC2.

Man.. Im not qualified to be even in B class.. Damn sad..

Well, Whats over is over.. I should be looking towards the future..

my year 2010 seems to be filled with love among friends and those who is more than friends xD.. I was. you know.. never empty.. like I am now..

No Im feeling so empty.. i dont really know why is that but .. i think you know what i mean..

This year, well Lots have changed..

My tuition, My class, my friends and others..

I should adapt to changes but i couldn't.. I always looked back to the past.. trying to make my past the present.. but i couldn't (nobody could) ..

Well, thanks for sharing this time with me...

Love, Chris