A Tough Decision

Stood still starring through the window pane,

Thought of what is it to be gained;

But now i felt a greater pain,

A pain that words could not explain.

Water dripping from a leaked pipe,

Now it goes to a greater height;

I could not let go no matter how I tried,

All I did was a sorrowful sigh.

Be With Her Forever

On that gloomy day he was here

But now he is not where he were

At the corridor he walked, up and down

He sighed and tears gathered at the corner of his eyes

His dream to be together

To be together with her forever

But he had lost his courages self

Which once known to be the likes of tiger

He tried and tried, and tried again

His hope - to make her my bride

Holding a pen on a table he writes

Will his poetic skill give him this littlel flight?

He hope to be strong and hope for a change

Hoped to be as courages as once he had gained

But dreaming won't give him anything

Nor to change anything he'd done before

And now I had read this poem,

I set my hands to write and add more

Until I realized that we are actually them

I gave a sigh and wrote some more

Although it wasn't more than I year I'd known love

I could feel your warmth like my hands in winter gloves

I hold my breath and set off the dove of my heart

and stayed on waiting for you, my one true love

The truth was, writing poems weren't getting me anywhere

It was just an art and proves almost nothing

Nothing I said, nothing at all, nothing to you and me

But I tried and tried, and now sending this letter to you

Although I'd known for long that you were too good for me

But now the courages me can wait no longer

A big leap is all I need and now I have yet taken it

If you were to reject please don't look at me as if I'm a loser

I'm emotional?

Dear Blog,

I'm emotional? That's right, I'm emotional. It might not have crossed you mind but, I AM emotional. I cry like.. very easily, i laugh like crazy - but i think most of you see that from me, i one thing i cant control is LAUGH - I could go sad and everything when bad.

One more thing. I tend to do everything at best when I'm down, and i donno why. I could go stronger in an instant, i cant run faster than i could before, i can solve question i haven't studied before, i can create chaos bigger than any of you could imagine. Well thats me, i although sometimes it did helped me, but no everytime. I tend to go weak after all that and sleep for lie .. 10 hours? LOL

Well, I am emotional, as i had said before, well thats how i express my feelings. I write poems when im in anger, sad, happy - usually i dont when i'm happy, i just sing and didnt get the chance to write it down, haha - lonely, selfless... yeah about that, i sing and write poems and sing when i'm emotional..

one more thing.. i guesssss.... GUESS-ed that it may be my hormone changes that causes it and er.. recently, i think, i fell for a girl i thought i would not fell for.. I could not stop thinking about her and always ended up singing 'Just the way you are' Again and again, and again.

Well thats all for now.. I'm going to sleep..

Ah ONE MORE THING. If you're a girl and you think your boobs are small, DO NOT DO A BOOB JOB BECAUSE IT IS NOT GOOD, VERY DANGEROUS YET EXPENSIVE.

I saw a video about a defective boob job and the girl ended up dead. I wish my words could alert you all and not the VIDEO, but if you wanna watch the video, then too bad haha cause i wont share it here haahah

Okay really have to go bye xD

Love,

Chris

I love how she looks and who she is

When did my feelings get so deep
Why did they take that big long leap
Going from friend to crush
What a rush
And I don't think she knows

Since when did her smile make me go weak
Since when did her tears make mine start to leak
Why does this happen when I'm always so strong
When people called me Superman I guess they were wrong
And I don't think she knows

When she talks I cant help but watch her lips
To notice their shape and curves when they dip
Wait, why am I looking? I don't even know
And I cant help but wonder if she even knows

Her beautiful eyes are nothing like ours
They're so deep and bright you'd believe they were stars
They pour forth emotions in raging rivers
They could make even me believe that Santa always delivers
And still she has no idea

Her body is perfection though she denies it
It makes my head spin with every glance I give
She could put any man under her spell
But she doesn't know how I feel and I don't think I'll tell

I love how she looks and who she is
And how she makes me feel like this
I love how she's beautiful and smart with a heart so strong
And how she lives every day like nothing could go wrong
Still she hasn't got a clue

Now school is at an end on the 11th at noon
I wonder if she cares that I'm moving soon
We're parting that day after schools many months
I just wish I could have kissed her just once

Now that I've said it with my poetic skill
I don't think she knew, and now she never

Chinese New Year.

Dear Blog,

Its Now Chinese New Year..

So,

Chinese New Year, celebrate or study more?

I've got lots of tuition .. so damn buzy..

Monday - Chinese (Mrs. Liew)

Tuesday - Math (Mr.Teh PT), Malay (CHLee)

Wednesday - English (Cherie Lim)

Friday - Physics (Frankie Lee)

Saturday - Biology (Madam Yeoh)

And now im even joining the Form 4 Chapter 2 Physics class

(with Cai Ying Ng and Sean De Hui)

Its been a long time since a last saw her, my very understanding and good friend Daphne.

Last year when somthing terrible happened(rejection) she was there to help me to overcome it.. Thanks dude, its was great to have such a good friend.

Although so much has Changed, but My brothers in KCCband! are still with me, Thank God for his Overflowing blessings. Even in C class I still have good friends to help me.. Helping each other, making each of us stronger and tougher day by day.

Now I'm already ini Form 5. I realised something important. I donno how to explain in English but I'll type it in Chinese

"友情 和 亲情 比 爱情 重要"

Haha..

So for the time being, I shall not look for my future wife, and concentrate harder in my studies.

I'm sure God has already laid the way for me, its whether if I'm accepting it or not.

So friends, If you all had seen my blog (this post), just know that I appreaciate all you've done to me. Making me a better and Stronger person. The Stronger Christopher Dequan Soon!

Well just this for now, Im going to exercise with my family now, bye! (thank God for giving me such a caring family! )

Love,

Chris =D

My Fairy tale

On 15th December
The 1st day I met you,
I saw your beauty,
That is everlasting.

In that 4 days time
We talk and we laugh
Even then I was your leader
I'd always listened to you.

I thought we were fated
to be together,
but you just treated me
nothing more than a friend.

The comparison between you and me
are like a stray dog and an angel,
Even though our love is not mutual
I just hope that you'll accept my love.

One day we will be together
like Beauty and the Beast,
With your love like beauty
The Beast in me be healed.

I hope everything will turn out
like fairy tale,
When Prince Charming and Cinderella
lived happily ever after.

A New Year, A New Resolution, A New Me.

Dear Blog,

This year, im in 5SC2.

Man.. Im not qualified to be even in B class.. Damn sad..

Well, Whats over is over.. I should be looking towards the future..

my year 2010 seems to be filled with love among friends and those who is more than friends xD.. I was. you know.. never empty.. like I am now..

No Im feeling so empty.. i dont really know why is that but .. i think you know what i mean..

This year, well Lots have changed..

My tuition, My class, my friends and others..

I should adapt to changes but i couldn't.. I always looked back to the past.. trying to make my past the present.. but i couldn't (nobody could) ..

Well, thanks for sharing this time with me...

Love, Chris